The Rheumatoid Arthritis Warrior blog is not about me. But this one is.
This blog is not about me. It is about fighting Rheumatoid Arthritis. I DO have RA, but you know what I mean. Of course, I can only show you the world through my own eyes anyway. However, today I will focus on my own RA.
You have been warned…
If you are still reading, I assume you don’t mind hearing a little about my own experience with Rheumatoid Arthritis.
My RA has affected every joint. And other bodily systems. I know that several of you are like me. You have sent me your stories.
Also, I had symptoms of Rheumatoid Arthritis which would flare and remit for about 27 years. That is until that fateful day on which it became what I call “full-blown.” I know several of you are with me there, too. (See Palindromic RA.)
For the past three and a half years, the Rheumatoid Arthritis has been without a remission. There has not been a single moment without its pain and stiffness and disability. The only variety from day to day is the number of affected joints. It usually ranges from 7 to about 15 joints at a time.
I know I am not utterly alone there either. (See the 4 Courses post.) As you know, studies on Rheumatoid Arthritis have not been adequate to sufficiently document or understand the disease. However, another report I just read confirms that 10 to 15 percent of what I call “RA-ers” are like me: no remissions. No flares. Just Rheumatoid Arthritis. 24/7.
The UK report calls this course of RA “Unrelentingly destructive.” (To view report, click here; then click “full report” and scroll down to page 4 for diagram. Thanks to Angela at FunkyArthur for helping me find that.)
So, some days are hard days - yeah. However, the other days are harder.
Again, just like so MANY of you have written to me, I do not complain. If I were to do that, complaining would fill my days. And if I did complain, who could believe there is this much RA?
Even before I got sick, I always said this to my family: “I am sorry. I tried not to be a person.”
This is what I meant by that: To not ever articulate any pain. To not ever be too tired to say “yes.” To not ever fail. And, by the way, a few of you have confessed the same thing to me in your messages, too.
Of course that is ridiculous! And I can hear my friend from Oz telling me that it is probably pride that made me think that way. Anyway, as hard as I tried not to “be a person,” I am. And you are, too!
Consequently, as hard as I try to avoid it, sometimes, the blog is about me. After all, I am the person who writes it.
I confess: I am a person who is fighting Rheumatoid Arthritis. And I have insurance issues. And I am trying to find a new doctor. And I am struggling like the dickens to get my website published which I have been working on for a couple of years. So, if you think of it, could you pray for me, too?
Postscript: This weekend, I took time to catch up on a couple of RA blogs. (Isn’t it grand there are so many that I can’t keep up?!!) I have even found 2 this week which use the word “warrior” when discussing Rheumatoid Arthritis. Our movement definitely continues to gain momentum. Fight on! (More on “warrior” in an upcoming post…)