Laughter as a Weapon Against Rheumatoid Arthritis

A Fish Story



If you have read many Rheumatoid Arthritis Warrior blog posts, you have already realized that laughter is a critical part of my arsenal to fight RA. Sometimes, some of my friends and I try to out-funny each other. It is a one-upping game. The loser is the one on the floor laughing first. Hey, wait! I think SHE is the winner!

A while back, one of my best laugh-mates sent me her reaction to a blog. It was the blog about how some people think a good hair day means the Rheumatoid Arthritis is cured. I think she was trying to figure out what she would say if she had to deal with peculiar comments like that.

“I have started taking a sandwich size Ziploc bag with ice in it to church for my painful hands. At greeting time I don’t mingle and shake hands, I sit in my seat, and when people come up to me I indicate to them my hands are too painful to shake. After the service I carry out the little baggie of melted ice, and when people ask me what I have, I tell them it’s my pet goldfish. So help me, if one of those difficult people are brave enough to approach me, I will act upset to see no goldfish, tell them where I was sitting, and ask them to find it for me . . . please, before the poor thing dies. . . . .!!!”

Actually, it sounds like she would have fun if one of “those people” ever addressed her!

Maybe we need to give this approach serious consideration. It might help us in our fight to dismantle “the Wall.” Let’s back up just a bit:

Here is a typical sequence. First of all, something about what we say or what we do does not measure up to someone else as being ordinary / normal. However, since our illness is invisible, it does not make sense to others. Then, someone who is ignorant about Rheumatoid Arthritis makes a churlish remark. We feel insulted.

Now is the fork in the road. We choose how to respond.

1) We can refute their ignorance. And then they can choose to either accept or deny our offering of truth and science about RA.

2) We can ignore their comments, privately either brooding or forgiving.

3) OR, sometimes, we can break the tension with laughter. Laughter is proof that even though our bodies are riddled with Rheumatoid Arthritis, we are also normal folks (with feelings).

And sometimes, laughter puts a little crack in that wall, too. Maybe we can talk to the person through the keyhole and teach them about RA after all. Let’s see whether cracking up can trump a wisecrack.

Note: “the Wall” is my term for the barrier which can block productive communication about Rheumatoid Arthritis. Most often, people throw up the wall because of denial. To read more about the Wall, click here.

Also recommended:
So Glad Your Rheumatoid Arthritis Is Cured and Be Your Own Counselor With RA

The Rheumatoid Arthritis Self-definition Fairy

Does Rheumatoid Arthritis define us?

Recently on the blog, Noelle wrote about a warning from her nurse friends to not allow Rheumatoid Arthritis to “define” her. I could not respond to Noelle adequately in the little comment box. Don’t you feel cramped in there?

Here’s Noelle:

"A couple of my nurse friends have told me to not allow the RA to define me. I haven't totally wrapped my head around that concept and how I go about doing that, but this week I think the RA is calling the shots."

Actually, I already had an outline for a post on “defining ourselves” squirreled away in my files. So, change of plans for today. Let’s go ahead and face down one more phantom!

What or who defines us? Does RA hinder or help the matter?

Let’s look at it.

Defining oneself is a primary psychological occupation during youth. I have loved watching my own nineteen year-old to do that. Even her mundane choices are important as she is defining herself. She picks out everything from favorite foods and clothing styles and music to Bible verses to help her identify herself. Yes, her values are reflected by her choices. But she is also marking out a plan for who she wants to be and how she will be identified by others.

When we are young, we explore and choose what we want to use to define ourselves. I have enjoyed watching my daughter do it because it triggered memories in me of making those choices. It is an empowering feeling of youth: that you can define who you will be. It is an enjoyable time. Our goals tend to be ambitious and fearless.

During the next stage of life, the wonderfully productive middle years, mostly we define ourselves by what we do. Our occupations and responsibilities and our influence equal who we are. At least we think so. This is legitimate, too, in some ways.

But there are drawbacks. Eventually, as we near retirement, most of us must re-evaluate those definitions once again. Ever heard of a mid-life crisis? Or empty-nest syndrome? What are we apart from our accomplishments and qualifications?

If things go well, we generate more significant ways to define ourselves when we are older. Life eventually forces us into that. We learn to emphasize more mature aspects of our character and preferences. I think it is similar in some ways to the first stage because there is less focus on performance.

RA-ers are blessed. We get a shortcut to the subsequent stage of self definition. It’s like the self-definition fairy comes one night and makes a trade. You know how the tooth fairy trades baby teeth for a quarter? Well, the RA fairy just takes away many of those things which we do that we think best define us. One day we are running our lives just fine and then… poof! Gone.

What are we when we no longer do the things that defined us? When there are no more masks or props to help us define ourselves? We are whatever it is that we truly value. We are whatever it was that motivated us to do the things that we did when we could do them. We are our character and our spirit.

Actually, Noelle, a woman said that to me too once. It was when I was first diagnosed. And it has haunted me, too – until today. Next time someone tells you not to let Rheumatoid Arthritis define you, tell him about the RA self-definition fairy.

The Rheumatoid Arthritis Warrior's RA

The Rheumatoid Arthritis Warrior blog is not about me. But this one is.

This blog is not about me. It is about fighting Rheumatoid Arthritis. I DO have RA, but you know what I mean. Of course, I can only show you the world through my own eyes anyway. However, today I will focus on my own RA.

You have been warned…

If you are still reading, I assume you don’t mind hearing a little about my own experience with Rheumatoid Arthritis.

My RA has affected every joint. And other bodily systems. I know that several of you are like me. You have sent me your stories.

Also, I had symptoms of Rheumatoid Arthritis which would flare and remit for about 27 years. That is until that fateful day on which it became what I call “full-blown.” I know several of you are with me there, too. (See Palindromic RA.)

For the past three and a half years, the Rheumatoid Arthritis has been without a remission. There has not been a single moment without its pain and stiffness and disability. The only variety from day to day is the number of affected joints. It usually ranges from 7 to about 15 joints at a time.

I know I am not utterly alone there either. (See the 4 Courses post.) As you know, studies on Rheumatoid Arthritis have not been adequate to sufficiently document or understand the disease. However, another report I just read confirms that 10 to 15 percent of what I call “RA-ers” are like me: no remissions. No flares. Just Rheumatoid Arthritis. 24/7.

The UK report calls this course of RA “Unrelentingly destructive.” (To view report, click here; then click “full report” and scroll down to page 4 for diagram. Thanks to Angela at FunkyArthur for helping me find that.)

So, some days are hard days - yeah. However, the other days are harder.

Again, just like so MANY of you have written to me, I do not complain. If I were to do that, complaining would fill my days. And if I did complain, who could believe there is this much RA?

Even before I got sick, I always said this to my family: “I am sorry. I tried not to be a person.”

This is what I meant by that: To not ever articulate any pain. To not ever be too tired to say “yes.” To not ever fail. And, by the way, a few of you have confessed the same thing to me in your messages, too.

Of course that is ridiculous! And I can hear my friend from Oz telling me that it is probably pride that made me think that way. Anyway, as hard as I tried not to “be a person,” I am. And you are, too!

Consequently, as hard as I try to avoid it, sometimes, the blog is about me. After all, I am the person who writes it.

I confess: I am a person who is fighting Rheumatoid Arthritis. And I have insurance issues. And I am trying to find a new doctor. And I am struggling like the dickens to get my website published which I have been working on for a couple of years. So, if you think of it, could you pray for me, too?


Postscript: This weekend, I took time to catch up on a couple of RA blogs. (Isn’t it grand there are so many that I can’t keep up?!!) I have even found 2 this week which use the word “warrior” when discussing Rheumatoid Arthritis. Our movement definitely continues to gain momentum. Fight on! (More on “warrior” in an upcoming post…)

If You Do Not Have Rheumatoid Arthritis, Please Read This

A Memo to Non-RA-ers

My mailbox stays full of “nobody gets it” messages. People feel lonely and frustrated because most people don’t get RA. No, I mean they don’t “get it” as in understand what it is like. Recently, we discussed the UK campaign against ignorance about Rheumatoid Arthritis.

Let’s talk about our own campaign. What are some things we want the Non-RA world to understand? Why? How can we achieve our goal?

What we want you to know

We want you to know what Rheumatoid Arthritis really is. We want to correct the myths and misunderstandings about RA. And, we want you to understand the consequences of a life with Rheumatoid Arthritis.

Think for a moment: Have you ever have tendonitis? Or “tennis elbow”? How about a sprained ankle? Maybe a dislocated finger? Heel spur? Torn rotator cuff? Broken bone? Jammed toe? Or a ganglion cyst? Maybe you have a bit of osteoarthritis in your knees? If you have, then you have a better ability to understand than you knew. Imagine that you had that painful incapacitating condition in every joint.

If you do not read any further, and you re-read the last paragraph, we will have made progress. That was not hyperbole. Rheumatoid Arthritis progresses at different rates, so your loved one may not have involvement in every joint, but you can still get the idea.

Oh, and if I may offer an ever clearer picture, add a bad case of the flu that to the cocktail. You are getting close.

Do you know which joints are involved with your loved one? Are you sure?

We also want you to see why we cannot forget about the RA for very long. Even though you cannot see it, it is eating us alive. Literally. And we are not able to make our hands or our feet do what we tell them anymore. So, if we can put it out of our minds for a few seconds, it comes back in again when we try to move.

Why we want you to know

Why do people with Rheumatoid Arthritis want the comprehension of the non-RA world? Why do we care whether you to get it? Obviously, it would be nice to have sympathy and to feel validated in our suffering.

But that is not our point.

We want you to recognize what Rheumatoid Arthritis is because your reaction to our condition is sometimes not appropriate. Imagine with me again. What would you think if someone handed you a hatchet and asked you to chop some firewood with your broken arm?

No one would do that because everyone understands what a broken arm is. So, that response to your condition would be inappropriate. It would be ignoring the reality of your broken arm or at least extremely minimizing its significance. But broken arms are not invisible.

I have entitled this principle: Recognition Leads to Accommodation. It is the reason that most of us will hold the door for an elderly person or cut meat for a toddler. If any limitation is apparent, most of us will naturally make efforts to accommodate the disability.

Rheumatoid Arthritis brings disability and usually requires accommodation. Not doing so seems cruel.

How can we help you to understand?

We can tell you the truth about Rheumatoid Arthritis, busting the myths as gently as possible. We can refuse to participate in any denial about RA or what it is doing to our lives. We can stop allowing others to dismiss us as malingerers.

From our side of the wall, that is what I see. Now it is your turn, Non-RA World. Tell me how we can help you understand Rheumatoid Arthritis. Please.

Personal thought
Sometimes, I wonder whether people would have responded any differently if my diagnosis had been a more well-known disease like diabetes, heart disease, or cancer. I like to think so. I am guessing that people treat RA the way they do because they do not get it. I am hoping that I am correct.

Note: If you found this post interesting, you might also like to read Transparency and the Wall or Use It or Lose It.

Should Rheumatoid Arthritis Patients Exercise?

Can we talk about exercise?

There is an elephant in the room. Not a cute and helpful one like Horton. It is one of those proverbial elephants no one wants to address. It’s a big and annoying issue that won’t go away, yet everyone tries to ignore.

I do not fancy myself an elephant tamer. However, I have a constant urge to state the unspoken. So, let’s get this out in the open.

Exercise is a touchy subject in the world of Rheumatoid Arthritis. Proponents of exercise strongly advocate it. No one I know actually opposes exercise, but it does raise several questions. I wonder why I do not hear them asked.
Early in 2006, when I began to suspect that I had RA, I began to read research articles about it. I was leery of internet Quackdom, so I limited myself to medical universities / hospitals like Cleveland Clinic, Mayo, and Johns Hopkins. Soon, I learned to expand to other reputable websites like WebMd and About.com. I just wanted the legitimate information, not fairy-world cures.

I read about protecting my joints by not doing things that caused pain or stress. That sounded very important to me, so I printed off lots of pages about it. Later, when I began to hear how some RA-ers are pressured to exercise, it struck me as odd. The two ideas are in direct conflict. I cannot protect my inflamed joints from use at the same time that I am using them to exercise.
I read about every theory I could find to explain the causes of Rheumatoid Arthritis. I did not read any which pointed to laziness or lack of exercise as a reason for RA. I am sorry to be blunt, but if sloth did not cause my RA, then workouts will not cure it.

My doctors have prescribed vitamins, chemo shots, newfangled funky Biologic drugs, rest, anti-inflammatory medicines and even a high Omega-3 diet to attempt to gain control of my RA. Funny, they have not prescribed exercise. Why not?

It would have been an appropriate prescription if I had come into the office with one of many other conditions. But, I was disabled by RA, not idleness. Some people are truly disabled by RA. And they cannot exercise for either fun or strength.

There are others who have RA, but who are not disabled. Many have times between flares, however brief, when they can safely exercise. And a few other RA-ers actually have only a small number of joints that are affected. Of course, they can exercise using the unaffected joints.

I do not feel comfortable asserting this position. But, frankly, I am never comfortable anymore. I am in pain. It’s not endearing or attractive to say so, but it’s true.

I am very uncomfortable to sound like I am opposing something as wonderful as exercise. I half expect to be stoned. But, of course I am not arguing with exercise.

I am arguing with the preposterous proposition that if RA-ers would just exercise, they would feel better or get well. That is so absurd that I can’t think anyone really believes it. If they do, I am willing to walk in their shoes. Can they stand in mine?

I wish that RA-ers would not have to ever defend themselves about exercise. We did not get Rheumatoid Arthritis because we were less active; we became less active because we have RA.

The Me Before Rheumatoid Arthritis

The old me is still in the scrapbook.

Let me introduce you to the me you can never meet: The Me Before Rheumatoid Arthritis

If you have RA, you spend lots of time adjusting to change. For me, the biggest adjustment has been to the disability. First, there is frustration that I cannot do what I still want to do.

But the “old me” is still around – she lives on in my mind. However, she no longer matches the “physical me”. The second frustration is that no one else can know the mental me because the physical me cannot perform the actions which the mental me still wants to do.

A great deal of effort has been spent grieving what I can no longer do, accepting a new norm, and finding new ways to express that old me who did not die. When I meet someone new or fill out a bio, I hate to be asked what I like to do. I CAN’T do what I like to do anymore! So, I act like a grown-up and focus on things more important than whether I can quilt or play tennis.

For this reason, I have been consciously learning more mature ways to define myself. While the Rheumatoid Arthritis will not allow me to express it in the same ways that I once did, I am still… creative, ambitious, independent, generous, and strong. I am still the kind of person who wants to get big things done!

It has only been three and a half years since my Rheumatoid Arthritis became what I always call "full blown,” so I know I am still adjusting. Perhaps that is why I still get ticked off when people see me as lazy or wimpy. I wish I could show them that, before all this happened to me, I could have done what they are doing, too – at least as good as they do it. That is ironic since I spent so much effort moving forward.

If it’s okay, I would like to look back over my shoulder one more time. Just long enough to let me introduce you to the me you cannot see:

The Me in the Scrapbook

Nothing is too hard. If I can’t buy it, I will make it. I sew my own
curtains, slipcovers, and clothes for my little ones. I have refinished dozens
of pieces of furniture. I make Christmas presents. I am fit. I love to run and
swim for hours. I do not ask for help. My dad was a United States Marine;
sit-ups and push ups are recreation!

Once, I bought a home with a 2 foot ditch dug out all the way around
it. I convinced nearby road workers to dump a whole front loader of dirt in my
front yard. I spent weeks with a wheel barrow and a rake grading the entire
property. Then, I landscaped it properly so that it was the envy of the
neighbors. I used to trim my trees, clean my gutters, and plant my vegetables. I
kept my front entrance like a House Beautiful magazine cover.

I bought 22 fifty pound bags of concrete, mixed them with water in my
wheel barrow and put two coats of stucco on the outside of that house, too. Of
course, I painted the whole thing inside and out. I even painted the playhouse
to match. Inside the playhouse, I created sky on the ceiling, and flowery dunes
on the walls.

I make my soup from scratch. I bring meals to the sick. I have hosted
many dinner parties and receptions in my home and in large church halls. I used
to make all of the food and decorations myself. I am tough. I survived
encephalitis without medicine. I can take pain. I had five babies at home with
no medication. I have homeschooled them all. Two of them have a physical
disability. Really, this is the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

Whew! That was a whirlwind tour down memory lane. I hope that did not exhaust you, too.

I have had to say good bye to the old me. As if that were not hard enough, someone told me last week that I just need to be willing to put forth some effort. People only say that because they are judging me by what they see on the outside. They don’t know the other me, the one who still lives on in my mind. I guess I could show them my scrapbook. (NOTE: I will post the photos on the Facebook page, so you can see them enlarged, with notes.)

Friend of Rheumatoid Arthritis Warrior Shares Her Heart

I am so lucky to know a dear lady who sends me letters of encouragement about this blog. She is the widow of a man who lived with RA. I always wish everyone had an opportunity to hear some of her clever and uplifting words, so today I am sharing some of them with you.

I give you my friend Dorothy, one of the funniest senior saints in the world. I hope you can hear her smile.

You know what Rheumatoid Arthritis is because your husband Gil had it, right? I know what it is and every effort you put forth is sometimes like taking money out of the bank. It is NOT like, "If you would just exercise those joints, all this would go away."

How did his RA start?

He was also a florist. It became difficult for him to even cut the stems. That is when we noticed the decline, which got severe in a short time. Most noticeable PAIN was in his hands. That is why I cringe when I think of squeezing your hand that day, but within a few months he began to have difficulty walking. He ultimately had to use a wheel chair. Remember that he was also dealing with the COPD which is probably unrelated, but compounded the RA issue.

How did people react?

ABSOLUTELY MAGNIFICENTLY! They were compassionate, supportive, loving. When Gil could no longer leave the house, they came to see him. He was so active in the church. The RA was an added burden that did really COMPOUND his original problems, causing the additional pains. And, ultimately crippled him.

Do you think you understood?

Even though I saw my husband suffer so much to the end, I am sure there is something missing in MY comprehension of exactly how it is because I personally have not endured the physical suffering. Only the pain of seeing someone you love suffer. And there is the impotence you feel in watching and not being able to help. But, it is still not the same as being the victim, of course.

Thought for the day: Never criticize a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them… and you have their shoes.

People just don't have a real sense of the depth to which it reaches and the attack it renders on the body.

Do you think anyone else understood?

It is difficult to relate to RA unless you have it. I agree that a person who has not experienced RA cannot have that level of understanding & compassion. Somehow, "I know how you feel" sounds like a platitude. And you want to shout out HOW IN THE H... CAN YOU POSSIBLE KNOW HOW I FEEL? Can YOU move your arms today without screaming? Can you pick up a bag of groceries? Can you carry a pot to the stove? Can you cut a flower stem to make an arrangement for your church? Do you PRAY no one will squeeze your hand when you greet them? Then how can you know how I feel?

Do you read the blog?

Sometimes I think I am a SPY because I do not have RA. But you are such a beautiful crusader for this cause that I feel compassionate and enlightened by each message I read. HEY, I loved your "compassion" message to Mrs. Smart a_ _, uh Toes.

SO often when I read the joyfulness, then also the sadness, in your messages, I realize that in addition to the agony of having to live each day with a crippling disease that was in charge of everything Gil did - that controlled his entire body no matter how optimistic he tried to be. It was frustrating to see that even those close to him, didn't have a clue. Maybe even myself.

What was the hardest part?

He did not want PITY... just understanding. As I think you do also. It is LONELY out there when you are the only one who understands anything. And especially something which controls a MAJOR part of your life. No, he DEFINETELY did not want sympathy, but, yes... understanding. Here was a man who sewed all the drops and costumes for VBS, made CHOIR ROBES, did all the flowers for the altar. He bought them wholesale – RAW - and he cut them, arranged them, and carried them to church.

Later, we had to get them for him... he would try to tell us where to cut because his hands could not manage to cut through the hard stems. And later, we even had him tell us where he wanted them to be placed in the arrangement. He would not give it up. When he was wheelchair bound, he would have us take him to the church hall so he could instruct the others to make the VBS stuff.

So, if he had a GOOD DAY, a well meaning friend would say something stupid, like, "Well, I bet you are glad THAT crud is over" or like "Glad you are your old self again." They did not have a clue.

Maybe when YOU hear stupid stuff like the lady at the beach, it is NOT that you want them to feel SORRY for you. You just want them to UNDERSTAND. You want them to be EDUCATED about RA.

You, Mrs., have 5 kids at home! You are NOT a "gimmee stuff princess.” You do NOT want sympathy - just understanding as Gil did.

He just wanted it to be OK if he was not the same as before and if he had to back off some things. Rather than, "I guess you are tired of doing the flowers... or the VBS... or anything." Like he was glad to get rid of it. He HATED to give up ANYTHING.

What did you wish people knew?

Adding to that, I believe, is the frustration of the cavalier attitude and responses of those with NO CLUE where RA has taken a person. The road it has forced you to travel and I believe THAT is the - well, maybe even hurtful part. You shaved so "you must be all BETTER" as if a miraculous cure had taken place. Like when we get over a COLD, and feel great now. They never knew how laborious it was for him to shave, as it may be for you to wash and fix your hair, then hear, "OH, you did your hair. I am so glad you are all better."

You have been a big help to me by sharing so much about Gil.

Thank you, Kelly! Thank you for being transparent in this. I am transparent about my Life, my faith… everything except my health. I am always "FINE" … "GREAT,” etc. You make me realize that sometimes it is OK to say, when you responding to a friend, to someone who really cares, "I feel terrible", "I hurt", "I am having trouble breathing today."

Thank you, Dorothy, and I do feel like you understand.

That's why my prayer for you is constant: That God fills you with His peace and His strength so that each time you go through a tunnel, you can SEE His beacon lighting the way for you, leading you back to the mountain top. I somewhat love you, you know.

The Difference Between Osteoarthtitis and Rheumatoid Arthritis

What is the difference between Osteoarthritis and Rheumatoid Arthritis?

Sometimes, you can show how much you care by disclosing what you know. But, other times, you can show how much you care by acknowledging what you don’t know.

A good friend asked me this week to explain the difference between RA and OA. I was really impressed with her. It took courage to admit she that did not know. Do you know how many people have asked me that? She is the first one.
How many people do I hear ask, “What is Rheumatoid Arthritis anyway?” Very, very few. They usually don’t already know. So, I wonder why not.

Anyway, that is the hand we’re dealt. So here is my short answer:

Think of Osteoarthritis like rust. If you have a favorite tool and you use it a lot, it can start to get rusty and worn. That’s OA. You can sometimes clean it up with chemicals or a salt scrub. That’s like getting arthroscopic surgery done to clean up a knee.

Who does OA strike? Anyone who has used a joint excessively: mainly that means old people and athletes.

RA is more complicated. It would be a bit more like leaving a brand new tool in a bucket of battery acid overnight. It is suddenly ruined. You better buy a new one.

That is the sudden destruction and disability of Rheumatoid Arthritis. Joints and their supporting tissues are suddenly destroyed and left disabled. Little holes in the bone called erosions tell the story of some erosive substance which has eaten away the flesh.

The joints cannot be cleaned out on an outpatient visit. Frequently, joints must just be replaced.

Where does RA strike? Joints, organs, nerves, muscles, tendons, and bones in children, women, and men of all ages, but most frequently between 30 and 50.

Thank you to my friend for asking that very basic question. I am grateful that she gave me permission to share, so I tried to give a simple answer. With a short answer, perhaps more folks will be able to understand.

For a more complete answer, stay tuned to Rheumatoid Arthritis Warrior. I know that my friend will because she cares. I know she cares because she told me what she did not know.

Transparency and the Wall

Communicating about Rheumatoid Arthritis

This post is an answer to my dear friend from Oz:
She writes about wondering why, as a woman with Rheumatoid Arthritis, I am usually so private about my health issues. She also praises me for "coming out" to write this blog. She wonders whether I had to overcome "false pride" as she did.

Wow. I never thought I was "coming out," so I thought about your letter all day. I did not ever try to keep my RA in the closet. (It is much to large to fit in there.) So, I am glad for the opportunity to explain how I got to be where I am.

No, dear friend, the reason I answer, "Fine" when asked about my health is not pride. I do not try to hide the RA. There are more complicated reasons for the lack of openness with certain people. I have always been willing to be honest about the RA, so blogging was not a giant leap for me. I love to share and network with others who are searching or hurting.

Now is the time when I will actually do what you thought I did already: be transparent when it is uncomfortable.

When I first got sick, I used to try to explain why I could not do things anymore. But people did not understand because they do not know about RA. People who knew me before I was sick did remember how I had been so agile and strong. However, nobody here knew me - since I moved here right before I got sick.

Sometimes, I was hurt as much from reactions to RA as from the RA itself. Reactions I have received include cold silence, changing the subject, comparing RA to a hangnail, and laughing out loud, "Yeah, right, like you are old enough for arthritis!" I was encouraged to get over it.

I could write a book - No two books: one book about the way I have been treated and a second one about all of the other RA folks who have told me the exact same stories. That's right! We actually swap stories because we trust each other.

Anyway, I won't ever write those books. Instead, I will put my energy into making a difference. My humble goals:

1) Education of the whole world about what RA really is.
2) Helping a few RA patients to get more out of their lives.
3) Be one tiny (but bright and shiny) dot in the "connect the dots" puzzle of curing RA.

So there you have it, my small friend in the sparkling red shoes!
It isn't pretty. It isn't pride. It's plain old self preservation that made me do it.

I promise I'll do my best to follow my own advice: share with those that will listen, but not feel responsible for others' denial. Sometimes, that denial is a wall that is too high to scale. Didn't I tell you that I have a disability, after all?