Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Love of Challenge and the Rheumatoid Arthritis Speed Limit


At bedtime, the race is on. As soon as the pajamas are on, my four year-old declares, “Race ya!” He expects to win, but he still wants me to try. I think he wants me to almost win.

Some days, I can oblige. Other days, he protests, “You are too slow!” That’s when I cannot provide the adequate challenge he needs to feel significant.

SOME days, I can actually run to his bed. And I do. And I win. And he cries.

I’m sorry if it seems mean. I just don’t want him to see me as lazy… There’s no need to wonder where he gets his love of challenge.

Lately, I feel just like my son. The race is on! There is so much I want to get done.

I feel like it all needs to be done “yesterday.” I love the challenge of it all. But, I’d like to “win,” too.

Winning the race is getting it all done. Crossing stuff off the list. Getting on top of it all.

There is the problem of the speed limit enforced by RA. Mostly, I think I am doing so well “under the circumstances.”I JUST DON’T WANT TO STAY UNDER THEM. It’s uncomfortable under there.

At least I am enjoying the challenge.


nygiantsfanatic said...

Kelly, that little blondie is adorable! Must get his good looks from his mom. :0) I love when I can "run" after my kids. Most times, for me running is walking fast but on occasion I can muster up a run. I usually pay dearly for it the next day with painful and swollen feet and ankle joints but it seems well worth it. My latest blog (from Tuesday) talks about my latest attempt at playing with kids. I definatly felt the results of my uncautious and not-so-smart actions when I woke up next morning but I wouldn't trade the experience. I think it's important to try when we feel we can. Keeps us "alive" if you know what I mean. Something of life before RA seems to resurface during these times. Best, Angie

Jenny said...

Wanting to win is awesome, Kelly! It wouldn't be awesome if YOU were crying because YOU LOST...but it would be worse if you were crying because you didn't WANT to race at all! Here's to keeping up the race.